The Generic Joke List ...

I receive so many jokes from people who just want to insult one school or state or another. But the jokes could easily be applied to anyone, anywhere at anytime. My intent with starting these pages was to gather jokes about Michigan and the Great Lakes region; jokes that have some meaning to Michiganders and our neighbors and probably no where else.

But because I still get lots and lots of generic jokes, I'm going to start posting some of the funnier ones here. I can't guarantee I won't change the recipient of the butt of the joke from time to time to keep things even. I hope you like these.

P.S. I know that there will be some generic jokes on the other pages. Luckily, it's my site and I don't have to justify why I'm leaving them there! ;)

Three girls graduate high school together and apply for the same college. Part of the college entrance exam is to pass a physical examination. All three girls make appointments with the same doctor on the same day.

While sitting in the waiting room, the doctor comes in, brings the first girl into the exam room and asks her to remove her blouse. After doing so, the doctor notices a large letter "O" on her chest. Quite taken back, he asks, "I don't mean to seem forward, but what is that on your chest?" The girl, quite embarassed, says, "Well doc, it's a little embarassing, but my boyfriend goes to Ohio State University and he likes to wear his letterman's jacket when we make love." The doctor thinks about it for a minute and replies, "A little unusual, but I understand." She passes and he calls in the second girl.

"Would you please have a seat and remove your blouse?" After doing so, he notices she has a large letter "I" on her chest. At the risk of sounding shocked, he asks, "What is that?" The second girl responds, "See doc, my boyfriend goes to Indiana University and he likes to wear his letterman's jacket when we make love." "Ok," replies the doctor and sends her out.

He finally brings in the third girl and asks her to have a seat and remove her blouse. When she does, the doctor is amazed to see a big letter "M" on the girl's chest. Thinking he knows how to approach this one he says, "Don't tell me, your boyfriend goes to the University of Michigan and he likes to wear his letterman's jacket when you make love, right?" "No, no, doc. You've got it all wrong . . . my girlfriend goes to Wisconsin!"

On a tour of Florida, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coast for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the beach in the Popemobile when there was a frantic commotion just off shore.

A helpless man, wearing a Michigan jersey, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25-foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with three men wearing Ohio State jerseys aboard. One quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side. The other two reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious Wolverine fan from the water.

Then using (autographed by Woody himself) baseball bats, the three heroes in OSU Red beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was some bitter hatred between Buckeye and Michigan fans, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not the truth."

As the Pope drove off, the harpooner asked his buddies, "Who was that?"

"It was the Pope," one replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well," the harpooner said, "He may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know s--t about shark fishing.... how's the bait holding up?"

A graduate from the Michigan State University's School of Agriculture decided to start a chicken farm. He bought a farm, cleared the land and prepared the ground. He ordered 10,000 chicks and proceeded to bury them up to their necks in the ground. Though he watered them everyday, they soon died. He was determined to follow his dream so he ordered 10,000 more chicks and buried them head down. Though he again watered and weeded, they soon died. Frustrated he wrote the Dean of the MSU's School of Agriculture and explained all that he had done. After a few days he received a reply from the Dean: Please send soil samples!!

AN OSU football player was almost killed in a horseback riding incident. He fell out of the saddle, caught one foot in a stirrup -- and came close to being trampled to death. Just in the nick of time, the Meijer store greeter rushed over and unplugged the horse.

The Seven Dwarfs are in a cave when the roof collapses. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells into the darkness, "Somebody, say something!"

A distant voice responds, "OSU will win the BCS Championship!"

Snow White sighs, "Oh, thank goodness! At least, Dopey is still alive!"

  • What do you have when you have a 100 Spartan fans covered up to their necks in sand?
    Not enough sand.

  • Why did they put in turf at the Big House, Michigan Stadium?
    So their cheerleaders would stop eating the grass.

  • Whats the best way to get a spartan cheerleader into your dormroom?
    Grease her hips.

  • Did you know that 9 out 10 coeds are good looking?
    The other one goes to Michigan.

  • Why was MSU Coach John L. Smith upset when one of his play books was stolen?
    He hadn't finished coloring it yet.

A teacher asks her young class how many of them are Michigan State Spartan fans. Not really knowing what a Spartan fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air.

There is, however, one exception. Joe has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks him why he has decided to be different.

"Because I am not a Spartan fan."

"Then," asks the teacher, "What are you?"

"Why, I'm a proud Wolverine fan," boasts Joe.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Joe why he is a Wolverine fan.

"Well, my mom and dad are Wolverine fans, so I'm a Wolverine fan also."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"

A pause, and a smile. "Well... then," says Joe, "I'd be a Spartan fan."

A University of Michigan fan walks into a doctor's office and removes his hat to reveal a frog sitting on his head. The doctor asks, "How can I help you?"
The frog replies, "I was wondering if you could help me get this wart off my butt."

  • What do you call a Spartan with a National Championship ring?
    A thief!

  • Why don't they celebrate Christmas at OSU?
    They can't find three wise men and a virgin anywhere!

  • What did the Michigan State graduate say to the University of Michigan graduate?
    Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your order?

A little boy was talking to a judge man about his parents abusing him. The judge asked the little boy, "Who would you like to live with? How about the Wolverines?"

The boy said, "They'll beat me."

The judge then asked, "How about the Buckeyes?"

The boy said again, "They'll beat me too."

Then the judge said, "How about the Spartans?"

The boy said, "Good idea! They won't beat me, They can't beat anyone!"

  • What do you get when you put 32 Eastern Michigan cheerleaders in a locker room?
    A full set of teeth.

This guy drives past an outhouse and sees an antenna on the roof of it. So he stops and goes to the house that owns the outhouse. He asks the owner, "Why is there an antenna on the roof of that outhouse?"

The people reply, "Some Michigan students rented it out."

As he's driving back that way one day not too long after that, he notices that now there are two antennas on the outhouse. So he stops and talks to the people who own it. "Why are there two antennas on that outhouse now?"

The people reply, "Some Michigan State students rented the bottom half on it!"

  • How do you get to Ohio from Michigan?
    South until you smell it and maybe a little east until you step in it.

During a press conference yesterday afternoon, coach Lloyd Carr said he will only be dressing 32 players for their game this Saturday in Ann Arbor, where the Wolverines will be facing the Ohio State Buckeyes.

"Yeah," he said, "the other guys are just going to have to learn to dress themselves."

  • Did you hear about the fire in University of Michigan's football dorm that destroyed 20 books?
    The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

  • Three MSU students are riding in a car together. Who's driving?
    The state trooper!

  • How many U of M freshmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Zero, it is a sophomore course.
  • How many U of M sophomores does it take to change a lightbulb?
    30-40 and they get three credits for it!
  • How many MSU freshman does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None...That's a Graduate level course in East Lansing

  • What do you get when you cross a Western Michigan student with a pig?
    Trick question, there are some things even a pig won't do!

  • Did you hear about the big power outage at the MSU Student Union?
    Forty Spartans were stuck on the escalator for three hours.

  • Why do Eastern Michigan graduates hang their diplomas from the rear view mirrors of their vehicles?
    So they can park in handicap zones!

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This page is maintained by Ryan Simmons, at .
Updated in January 2008